Heading toward a fatherless society Stanley Green and his son Harley Green photographed in Tacoma, Washington. Stanley Green on society's need to recognize the value of fathers.

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	‘The male is viewed as a sperm donor and a check writer. The children are viewed as property and spoils of war.” — STANLEY GREEN father		IT’S A PROBLEM THAT 13-year-old Harley Green and his sister, Lydia, 10, are all too familiar with. They have been living in eastern Washington state with their mother since their parents separated in 1990. And even though his father lives less than a mile away in the same town, Harley often feels out of place. His friends, he explains, don’t have to worry about the same things he does.          “From second grade to fifth grade, I had to take a suitcase with my clothes for the weekend and it’s kind of embarrassing bringing a suitcase to school with clothes,” Harley said. “My normal friends, when they’re on spring break, they don’t have to worry about which parent they have to spend time with. They can just go ahead and have a good time and not worry about disappointing one parent or another.”
	Lydia Green		His sister, Lydia, has more immediate concerns.        “I just miss having him around. I’m sad that he’s not here all the time,” she explained. “It would be nice if we could play with my pets together.”        Lydia’s father would like to do much more than that. But under the terms of his divorce, a complicated document that allows him to visit his children on weekends and some vacations, Stanley Green figures he gets to see his children about 25 percent of the time. No matter how hard he tries, Green said it’s impossible for a father to develop any kind of relationship with his children in that amount of time.   “The male is viewed as a sperm donor and a check writer. The children are viewed as property and spoils of war.” he said. “The children are often a reward to whoever slings the most mud with the most expensive attorney.”         NUCLEAR FAMILY NO MORE
	‘Having a fatherless family is something that may have bothered people in the past but not anymore.’ — DAVID POPENOE sociology professor		While poverty and and the breakdown of traditional values have often been blamed for the increase in unmarried mothers and runaway fathers, many well-educated and affluent parents have abandoned the notion that it takes both a mother and a father to raise a child.        In the 1960s, a time when many of today’s parents were growing up, only 17 percent of all children had no father living at home. Less than 40 years later, that figure is almost three times as high.        “Having a fatherless family is something that may have bothered people in the past but not any more,” said David Popenoe, a professor of sociology at Rutgers University and the author of Life Without Father. “For an increasing number of children and mothers, it’s a normal way to raise a family.”        After examining data from the Census Department and other government agencies that keep track of social trends like out-of-wedlock births, Popenoe said he wouldn’t be surprised if more than half of all children in America are living in fatherless homes sometime early in the next century.         BOYS WITH GUNS, GIRLS WITH BABIES        While the public often focuses its attention on the problem of dads who don’t pay child support, Popenoe says that’s only one of many problems facing both children and their absentee fathers.        He calls it the “little boys with guns” and “little girls with babies” phenomenon. Children from fatherless homes are two to three times more likely to have problems as teen-agers than children raised in traditional homes.
			Toward a fatherless society Disappearing dads: In 1960, 17 percent of all children had no father living at home. In 1999, that number was nearly 40 percent. More divorces: In 1960, 20 percent of all marriages ended in divorce. In 1990, nearly half of all marriages ended in divorce. Out-of-wedlock births: In 1960, 5 percent of all children were born out of wedlock. In 1998, that number was 32 percent. Crime: Boys living in a fatherless home are two to three times more likely to be involved in crime, drop out of school and get divorced. Teen pregnancies: Girls living in a fatherless home are two to three times more likely to become pregnant teenagers and have their marriages end in divorce.   Source: David Popenoe, author of “Life Without Father”        “Teen-age boys commit more crimes and teen-age girls become pregnant. They both tend to have bad marriages as adults,” Popenoe said.        In addition to the increased social problems, the rise in the number of children being raised in fatherless homes is changing how society views fathers themselves.

	Quality time with dad
	The Greens together. View the surround video

       Green and other “absentee” call it “Disneyland Dad” syndrome. Because court orders or other restraints restrict the amount of time some fathers can spend with their children, many dads are reluctant to “spoil” these visits by discussing problems their children may have at home or in school.
       Instead, they use their limited time to take their children on vacations or trips to the mall in a bid to show them their father is a “good guy.” Unlike their parents’ generation, Popenoe says fathers are no longer seen by many children as someone they can discuss a serious problem with. ‘Look around and tell me when the last time you saw a strong father figure in a movie or television show. We’re just increasingly written out of the picture.’
— CRAIG SCOTT WEISS
father        Even though it may sound self-serving, fathers say everybody suffers when they aren’t involved.
       “Look around and tell me when the last time you saw a strong father figure in a movie or television show. We’re just increasingly written out of the picture,” said Craig Scott Weiss, an absentee father. “I know that not all fathers are good fathers, but children are going to suffer more and more as we’re less and less involved.”
       Movies and television sitcoms notwithstanding, Popenoe, of Rutgers, says society will suffer as fathers are seen by an increasing number of mothers and children as not only harmful but irrelevant as well.
       “Fatherhood is one of the most important civilizing institutions in our society,” Popenoe said. “We’re in for some real troubled times as more and more people take the view it’s something we can do without.”
       
GRANDPARENT’S LAMENT
       In the meantime, Albert Green, Stanley’s 72-year-old father, says he’s trying to help. Even though he’s formally retired, he works as a handyman in order to help his son make ends meet.
       In his generation, the elder Green explained, people seemed to stay together longer and work things out. These days, he notes, divorce is more common and the children are the ones who suffer in the end. ‘I know he’s made mistakes, all fathers make mistakes, but in the end it’s the children who will suffer. I wished that wasn’t so, but it is.’
— PEGGY GREEN
grandmother        As he and his wife Peggy prepare to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, he says society is sailing into uncharted waters as many fathers disapear from the scene.
       “I didn’t think this would happen to my son and I bet a lot of men my age feel the same way,” he said. “We had rough times in our marriage too, but we stayed together and worked them out.”
       All Peggy wants to do is the “right thing.” Unfortunately, she explained, that’s easier said than done.
       “I wasn’t prepared at all for what my son and my grandchildren are going through,” she said. “I know he’s made mistakes, all fathers make mistakes, but in the end it’s the children who will suffer. I wished that wasn’t so, but it is.”

Barry Kliff is a producer for MSNBC’s News section.